When Life Wears Pink
When Life deals you lemons, you make lemonade, however, I like Melinda's outlook; save the seeds, plant'em and grow an orchard and start a business!
Sometimes life throws you curve balls you don't expect. And even when you think you're ready for it, with your outfield stance, glove on tight, steady, ready and focused, you don't expect that odd one to hit the ground and roll beneath your legs or soar so high you're blinded by the sun. Sometimes you're just not ready, no matter how much you practice and think about what you'd do should it come your way.
OK, enough with the metaphors, I'm talking about CANCER.
Cancer hit me like a jet propelled baseball right to the gut. Once I accepted the diagnosis, I knew I had to fight. My way. Surgery wasn't an option. I hate needles and anyone who knows me, knows about my phobia. Uncertain and slightly unconvinced, I put off surgery and armed my refrigerator and cabinets with all the holistic ammunition I could find. I researched everything my brain could absorb and believed I was on the right path. And I did great. Until another curve ball was thrown my way about two months into the battle. Because I was consuming so much raw vegan foods and downing raw nuts all day for protein, I developed colitis, along with passing blood from a severe UTI, and ended up in the ER. I know, gross. Believe me, that wasn't even the grossest part! The doctors aren't sure exactly what caused both, but suspected it was the nuts, fruit peelings and the raw foods being too harsh on my system. And maybe a touch of salmonella. Who knows. Needless to say, I haven't been able to eat raw vegan for the last two weeks and my system hasn't healed yet (The thought of vegetable juice or salad makes me gag!).
Because I fell into a deep depression and became consumed by this tiny tumor in my right breast, I've rescheduled surgery and made the decision to have it removed. No chemo and no radiation. I almost feel like a failure. As if the quest to heal myself was in vain. Ok, ok, I'm feeling a little disappointed and maybe even a little sorry for myself, but I will tell you this though, in 9 weeks between testing, the tumor shrunk and my HCG levels dropped 3 points, so I know the holistic mission would have been successful. A few days ago I explained my raw vegan health regime to the surgeon and told him I couldn't feel the tumor anymore. He gave me that "look," but to his surprise couldn't find it either, so an ultrasound is ordered before the surgery.
Wouldn't it be cool if just maybe I coughed it up or sneezed it out? I have to laugh. I've cried way too much these last couple of months. I read where finding a small tumor could be thought of as a "divine tap" on the shoulder to warn you to get healthy and get treatment quickly, so I'm going to think that developing colitis and a UTI was a divine punch in the gut for some other reason that hopefully I'll look back on and understand some day. But as for now, I'm going through with the surgery and hopefully my energy level and creativity will return.
Having cancer is one of the loneliest journeys I've ever been on. I can't live a sedentary lifestyle, wallow in self-pity, nor do I know how to exist without creating. A wise woman once told me that "Without creativity we die." I believe that. Hopefully within the next few weeks I can report to you that I'm fine, my house is clean, I feel energetic, I'm laughing, creating something in the sewing room or soaping room, and things are better than ever. It's in His hands!
I hope I hit this one out of the park!
Submitted by Rhonda Walker
Thank you so much Rhonda for being so brave and sharing your journey with us. I hope you will come back soon and tell us how wonderful you are doing and how you are back in your creative zone. We are praying for you and your family; for strength and for peace. You are an inspiration for sharing something so personal. For those that do not know, Rhonda also is a BossBabe and let's support her and her business. Check out her amazing products at Chigger Hill Cottage.
Hi Rhonda, Thanks for sharing part of your story. You are brave to seek out other options in regards to your health and none of it was a failure as you can have peace knowing that you explored all options! I hope that your surgery goes well.