Last October, my world was turned upside down.
My husband had what can only be explained as a nervous breakdown. Stress and lack of sleep bore down on him to the point where he couldn’t get out of bed. He was lost, and I was lost.
Once we found the right doctor, my husband started slowly coming back, but the months of loneliness, sadness, helplessness, and I hate to admit, anger consumed me. I now understand why depression hits people so hard during the holidays, it can be a lonely, stressful time.
It’s been 8 months since everything began, and things are slowly returning to normal. I’m trying to let go and move past the anger, resentment, and feelings of loneliness but when everything that can go wrong does, it’s disheartening to say the least. If it weren’t for my friends or family who’ve let me call and cry and vent, I don’t know where I’d be.
My husband and I are a work in progress.
Only time will tell. I’ve come out of all this stronger than I ever knew I could be... well depending on the day. On particularly hard days, I’m defeated and don’t feel strong at all, but regardless of how I’m feeling, I keep pushing forward, you can’t get past where you are if you stand still.
I also wanted to add depression does not make you weak or broken. My husband is the strongest person I know and I’m extremely proud of everything he’s accomplished and who he is as a person. My biggest hope is that we will be what we once were. I know my husband won’t be exactly as he was before, only because how could something like this not change you, the way you think and the way you react to things. Heck I’ve changed throughout all this.