When Life - Living Your Redemption

I believe that the stories of our lives are never experienced and told in vain. Your struggle, your loss, or your pain serve a higher purpose. Your life isn’t a dusty manuscript on a shelf. It’s a sidewalk film festival. And trust me, people are watching.

As you move through life, persevering through the most difficult scenes, you are redeeming yourself and your story again and again. You are failing and reshooting the acts. As the credits roll, do you ever wonder if anyone even saw your shining moment? If you are like most people, you probably think your everyday victories go unnoticed. But it doesn’t matter if your redemption breaks the box office or goes straight to DVD, someone is going to see it, connect with it, and use its power to break their own chains.

You are so patient and kind with your little girl. You wonder if anyone knows how hard you’ve worked to get to this point. You doubt it. All the tears and setbacks. All the sleepless nights. It’s worth it though. She is finally making a little progress. It’s not like you need a pat on the back or anything, but it would be awesome if someone could relate.

She sees you. The first time was in carline, smiling and helping your special needs daughter out of the car. She knew something was different about her and wondered if maybe she was the same as her son. You also went on the class field trip. She wanted to approach you, but her son was the one screaming and holding his ears. Her hands were full, and her heart was heavy. Maybe next time. All she knows is that she wants to be like you. She wants to help her son the way you helped your daughter. Because of you, she whispers to her son that their story will look different…their alternate ending starts today. Because of you she has a hope she didn’t have before.

You walk into work a free woman. Finally, he is gone. The curtain has closed on your personal horror movie and you swear you will never land the lead in another one again. You glance in the lobby mirror and wonder if anyone will notice the extra makeup you have covering his last goodbye. It doesn’t even matter. He is gone and today will be the first scene in the love story of yourself.

She sees you. She is wearing the same makeup as you. As you sit down with your lunch, she circles the cafeteria hoping to find a seat within earshot of where you are. Why? Because behind those dark eyes there is something different. A glimmer like you have a secret you are dying to share. She discretely leans in as you divulge everything to your closest coworkers. Suddenly your story is a moving picture show as you reveal every detail of how you finally left him. How you are safe, and he will never hurt you again. With a tear rolling down her face, she throws her lunch away and with fierce determination leaves to pack her own bags. Because of you she has a hope she didn’t have before.

Your therapist thought it would be helpful to start documenting your journey with anxiety and depression. “Write it down,” she said. “It’ll help you to get your thoughts out on paper.” You contemplate and decide that maybe writing a blog might help with accountability. Even if no one reads it, just the thought that someone might be waiting on pins and needles each week to see what you have to say is just the right amount of pressure. No one reads blogs anymore. But each week you write your story. You set the stage and move the characters through the acts. No reviews. No critics. Just you and your voice. Each week things get a little easier. Each week you share everything…even the deleted scenes. This might not be helping anyone else, but it’s helping you.

She sees you. Her friend shared your post weeks ago and she’s been following along since. She doesn’t comment or say anything, but she is there. “It’s like reading the story of my life,” she thinks every time she reads your posts. She feels everything that you share. At first, she noticed how sad and dark your posts were, and some days they still are, but she sees that overall you seem a little happier. She’s excited you found someone who understands you. She’s proud that you talk so openly about your medications, your therapy, and the difficult times. She’s happy that there are more good days than bad days for you right now. Her parents are grateful that because of you she flushed the pills down the toilet and checked herself in. Because of you she has a hope she didn’t before.

Some days you are behind the camera of your life while other days you are in front of it.

Regardless you are in control of every scene. You have the capability to break the chains that are binding you to a tragic finale. You can choose to free yourself from the burden of all the emotions holding you down. The decision to redeem your story, and possibly save someone else, lies solely in your hands. And when the curtain falls, they all will have been watching.


Love and lemons, 

1 comment

Whitney Stupka

This was so beautifully written, raw & relatable. Thank you for sharing your heart & perspective!

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