In life, there are times that your cup runneth over.
I've had those times, but there was one time in my life that I was too busy trying to clean up the spill to see it. My husband and I were married after a short five-month courtship in 1990. We wanted multiple children and we wanted to start our family right away. That was OUR plan...God had other plans, better plans, harder plans.
We tried to have a baby for 8 long years with no success. We went to doctor's appointments after doctor's appointments. We spent thousands upon thousands of dollars and subjected ourselves to grueling hormone therapies. All with no positive results. We were sad, mad, and just tired when we decided to adopt.
This decision did not come easily.
We had to first grieve the thoughts of ever having a biological child. I had to grieve the fact that I wouldn't experience pregnancy and delivery.
We spent a lot of time in prayer and asked God to show us if we were making the right choice by giving us joy and clarity over our decision, and boy did He ever!
We went to a workshop on international adoption and five months later, on December 8, 1998, we were flying to Russia to get our beautiful Russian boy. His given name was Alexey Aleshun. We changed his name to William Carter after my grandfather and Steve's grandfather. We decided to call him Will because we always want to be reminded that he was God's will for our lives.
Will was 13 months old when we brought him home. He was severely delayed but otherwise perfect. Will was what we had prayed for. He was a precious child and had such a tribe that loved him. He was the missing piece. We felt satisfied and blessed. I remember when we were in Russia, I was praying. I respectfully asked God one question. I asked Him why he made me wait so long for this wonderful miracle. Several minutes went by until I heard the answer. He said, “I will gladly answer your question. You had to wait because William wasn’t born yet.”
Fast forward 15 years. We are happy and living our lives as a family of three. Happy and blessed. I had my dream teaching job at my alma mater and my husband was in the happiest time of his career. Everything was perfect. We were complete....so we thought. God saw it differently.
One night I was cleaning out a bathroom cabinet when I stumbled on an old- old pregnancy test. I thought to myself, "Hey, what would happen if I tinkled on it?" So, I did. Stop here: I have had people ask me many times if I thought I was pregnant; if I suspected, and I can assure you, I didn't suspect anything. I was so irregular in my cycle that I never gave it much thought.
Boy, was I surprised when the thing stated "YES!” Let me rephrase that, boy was I angry when the thing stated "yes!” I screamed at my husband to get in the bathroom. I showed him and he hugged me and was so full of joy! What? He couldn't be! Wait! We couldn't be! I got myself together and reminded myself this test was years past the expiration and most likely a false positive. I went to the store and bought 5, yes 5 more, of the yes/no test. I took them all and they all said "yes".
I cannot explain to you how angry I was. I could not believe that God was messing me up like this. I was old (42), I was in my happy place, and now this!? After a visit to the doctor, I became truly aware that this was real and that it might actually happen. I started talking to God again (I had been giving him the silent treatment,) and through prayer and listening I began to see the big picture.
The Holy Spirit revealed to me that His timing is perfect and that this was exactly His plan and His will for my life. I felt so much guilt over my first reactions. I couldn't believe how ungrateful I had been.
Thankfully the Lord showed me that my anger was really just fear. I had suffered disappointment after disappointment, and I think I was convinced that this would be the case again. After all, I had been told that it was impossible for me to conceive.
After three months, I started celebrating and we made the announcement. Our family and friends were thrilled, God had chosen us to be this baby's parents, and we were officially thrilled! We had a very uneventful pregnancy and an easy delivery. My doctor was amazed at the fact that I conceived a baby with my condition (the cause of my infertility that deemed me an impossible candidate.) I still have the condition, and it should be impossible for me to conceive. Women in my age bracket have a 1% chance of conception, and had you asked my doctor before, she would have told you it was impossible for me to have a baby.
Our baby girl is now 6 years old and she will proudly tell you her middle name is Alexey, her brother's Russian name at birth. He is the best big brother and she is the best little girl in the world (according to her daddy). I'm so thankful that God blessed me with two beautiful children. One through adoption and one through pregnancy. They are certainly two very different experiences but both with blessed outcomes. God is so good and I'm so thankful that His ways are not my ways and His timing is not my timing.
Submitted by: Kelly Winnett
Thank you Kelly for sharing your sweet story! This is a beautiful reminder of how God's plan is always better than the one we have for ourselves. It also reminds me of how faithful He is in the waiting.
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