Everyone's story starts when they are born.
But for me, I feel mine started when I was 9.
I'll never forget my dad putting me on his knee, and telling me "sometimes two people who love each other, don't always stay together". I continued to help with the yard work that day. I continued to play, and several years went by till I really understood what that meant. It meant to him, he loved my mom, but he also wanted to have his own life, no responsibilities.
My father and mother divorced when I was 9. Come to find out, he had been cheating on my mom for at least a year.
Growing up, my mom was my best friend, and to this day she still is, and I'm still judged about that by new people I meet.
I met my husband when I was 15, and have loved him since day one.
My grandmother raised me as a child because my mom was a single mom who didn't get child support. She had to work very hard to provide me with the best possible life. She started her own company and to this day processes all the orders herself. Over 20 years later.
Back in 2015, I was diagnosed with anxiety. I tried counseling and it only made it worse. It dug up a lot of demons I guess I'm not ready to face, didn't even realize I had. One of my fears is dying. I worry that I had not found my purpose. I wanted my grandma to meet my child one day. A year later I found myself pregnant. My son will be 3 in January and I'm lucky enough to have my grandma around to be a part of his life.
My son is my purpose. I always thought life was getting accepted into a good school, getting an amazing degree and landing the dream job, traveling the world. Unfortunately, none of that has happened. Maybe one day I'll get to check going to Greece off my bucket list... But for now, being a good role model for my son, is my purpose. I'm preparing him for this world, and will support him all along the way to his dreams.
When life gives you lemons, I say you squeeze the heck out of them. Add in some sugar. And stir really well to make some of the best damn lemonade you have ever had.
Because those bumps in the road, that's life. And all those obstacles along the way will make you stronger.
I honestly struggled with the title of this submitted story for awhile. At a first glance, it seemed like it was covering a lot of emotions across a lot of topics. I didn't want to miss the mark here. But, I kept reading and rereading it, and each time it became more and more clear to me that here was someone trying to just figure things out. Figure life out. Why do people who love each other end up leaving? Why do parents feel as though they can just abandon their responsibilities as a mother or father? Do I have to put my own dreams on hold for my child, and if not, is that a good or bad thing? If my father left me as a child can your child even be someone's purpose? Is that a good enough purpose? I just picture all of these questions swirling around and around.
As a parent, I can relate to that journey of purpose. I can understand asking yourself things like, "will people think I don't have a purpose without a degree from Harvard hanging on the wall?" "Can I stay at home with my child and just be at peace with that?" "What if all I want at this moment in time is to be married, raise my child to be the best human possible, work or maybe stay at home, be best friends and close to my mother, and still have a fulfilling life, a purposeful life?"
Um YES! Who makes these definitions anyways! You absolutely can. I witnessed this firsthand with not only my mother, but my grandmother. Family and life in general was their purpose. They were best friends. Still are. They stayed home with their children and raised them in a loving home. My mother ultimately ended up working outside the home when my dad became too sick to work full-time, but continued to maintain a strong presence in our life. She worked because she had to. She is wonderful at her job and climbed the ladder very quickly, without a degree I might add, but it does not give her purpose. It just doesn't. Her family does. Yes, she wanted to see the world and did get to see a little of it, but if that ship never docks again, she's at peace with that. No-one defines what gives you life and purpose but yourself. You will know it when you no longer have to ask yourself that question. I pray that you've got your answer :)